a pound of thick-sliced bacon (don't look for lean)
about a third to a half pound of boneless pork
(if you're cooking ribs at the same time, use some of those boneless country style
pork ribs. Again, don't bother looking for lean--these aren't
diet Pork n' Beans.)
two 16 oz cans of boring pork-n-beans (don't pay for fancy)
3/4 cup KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce (I like Original; yuppies can buy Mesquite)
1/2 cup brown sugar
a really crisp apple
two small onions
a bottle of beer (your favorite)
about 2 and a half hours
Start a small pot of water boiling, then cut up the ribs meat into half inch slices.
Put 'em in the pot and boil it, kind'a slow. (Aunt Donna says that means "simmer.") So simmer it, kind'a slow.
Now, start a skillet or frying pan, and preheat your oven to 325-350.
Slice the hunk of bacon slices into one-half inch cross-sections (so each slice is cut cross-wise, not length-wise).
Maybe make a few of those cross-sections three-quarters-inch.
Put the bacon in the skillet and start it cookin'.
Drain and rinse the beans (get that fancy goop all off!).
Get out your pork n' beans pot--put in the brown sugar (1/2 cup) & barbecue sauce (3/4 cup)
Is the bacon done yet?
Pour out the bacon grease.
Pull out about a third of the bacon and save it for later.
Dump everything ('cept your saved bacon) into the pork n' beans pot, and stir.
Is it 12:30 yet?
Drink your beer, then put the pot in the oven anyway.
The stuff should be cooking by now.
Cut up the apple into skinless hunks no bigger'n thumbnail size.
Cut up the onions.
Drain the water out of the ribs meat and stir up the meat with a fork--you want to break it so there's nothing too big to eat in one bite.
Pull out the pot and stir in the ribs meat, and the apples.
Put in a bunch of the onions. If it looks like there's more Stuff than Pork n' Beans, leave some of the onions out.
Spread the saved bacon all over the top of the pork n' beans.
Don't stir it again!