boneless country style pork ribs--a little bit more over a pound
Carroll Shelby Chili Mix (yes, a mix--stop whining--any decent mix will do; buy what you like.)
16 oz fresh tomato sauce (in your grocer's dairy case)
3/4 cup KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce (I like Original; yuppies can buy Mesquite)
a bottle of beer (choose your favorite)
two onions
some spices (actually, these spices: cumin seed, dill seed, fennel, coarse pepper) (and make sure those seeds are seeds--otherwise don't bother)
16 oz can of Red Kidney beans
about 3 hours
a willingness to get your hands really gooey
an Attitude
and if you're feeling Really Surly, get about four or five of those small dried peppers (like you find in Chinese food)
SOB.chili.Readme:
Noon:
Slice pork into half-inch-wide slices.
Boil very slowly in a small pot.
Dump in a whole bunch of coarse-grind pepper; and if this is Really Surly,
break open the Chinese peppers and put 'em in the pot, too.
Put the sausage in a big bowl and mix in the spices with your hands:
(OK, if you want, you can wash your hands first--but only if you're feeling, like, compulsive or something.)
Three or four tablespoons of dill seed,
at least that much cumin seed (maybe double it),
and Way Too Much fennel.
Now wash your hands off; they're too gooey to do anything else.
(Well, I guess you could give someone a big hug first.)
1 o'clock:
Start the chili pot with 1/2 cup barbecue sauce,
1-1/2 cup tomato sauce, Shelby chili mix, and 1 cup beer (if you already
drank your beer, use a cup of water--use low heat, and cover.
Cook the bulk sausage in a skillet or frying pan (chop it up coarsely).
When it's finished, add it to the chili pot.
If it looks too un-saucy, add a little more tomato sauce.
Finish drinking your beer.
2 o'clock:
Put the ribs meat in the chili pot. Oh, and if you put those
hot peppers in the meat pot, you probably want to fish 'em out now.
They're pretty brutal if you leave 'em in as a chili surprise.
Heat the pot so that it's just barely boiling; keep stirring it.
Drain and rinse the beans. Twice. (Get that syrup off!)
Chop two onions.
2 thirty:
Add the onions and beans to the pot.
2 forty five:
Add as much flour as you need to make it look like chili.